A marriage implies a relationship of trust. When trust has been broken, because of infidelity, drug abuse, deception, or whatever, both spouses will have to make a conscious effort to rebuild trust in their marriage. For this, they will have to work to regain confidence in each other.
Rebuild your marriage:
This is the first step to restore confidence. If you do not commit to rebuilding your marriage, you will not be able to restore trust. Making the sincere decision to save your marriage instead of giving up is the first step to becoming a perfectly honest person, which is necessary for this process.
Sometimes people decide to leave their marriage rather than save it. If this is your case, you will waste your time trying to rebuild it instead of moving on.
You may even notice that your relationship with your spouse improves or evolves into friendship once you have decided to separate.
Only you can decide whether or not you want to rebuild your wedding. Your friends and family could express their opinions and tell you what to do. It will be up to you to decide what is right for you and make your own decisions.
What kind of wedding you want?:
See if you have changed your mind about what you expect from marriage, and if so, determine if your ideas are realistic.
Often, newlyweds imagine a perfect union. When that’s not happening, they feel betrayed. It is important to know that these feelings are an integral part of marriage.
People who experience a crisis in their marriage often turn out to have a stronger marriage over time.
To save your marriage, you will need to review your expectations. If you and your spouse have very different ideas about what you expect from your union, you will have to reach a compromise.
Ask for help:
It may be helpful to speak to a specialist. It could be a therapist, a priest, a rabbi, or any other religious leader specializing in marriage. A person who is not emotionally involved in your marriage could help you recognize patterns in the way you behave or communicate that negatively influence your marriage.
Bad communication habits can be difficult to change on your own. If you want to rebuild your marriage, you may need a third party to help you identify the types of communication that cause depression, insecurity, or that cause you to lock yourself in.
When you and your spouse have only become roommates, and are no longer intimate partners, a therapist or psychologist can help you remember the beginning of your relationship when you were intimate.
If you think you should save your marriage only for your children, prefer to talk to a professional first. Staying together for children is usually an insufficient reason to save a marriage.
Follow the steps necessary to rebuild a relationship of trust. If you have betrayed your partner’s trust, you will have to do everything to restore it. Commit yourself, to tell the truth, and to be totally open about your activities and communications.
Do not keep anything for yourself.
Avoid sharing details about your transgressions of the past. It is not by knowing every detail of your betrayals that you will help your spouse to move forward.
It may be helpful to understand the reasons that led you to betray your partner’s trust. You will then have to understand your own emotional vulnerabilities and your lack of insurance. Be open about this process with your spouse.
Never blame your betrayal on another person. If you make the decision to save your marriage, you will have to take full responsibility for your actions.